Happily Ever After, 3

I continue on and just as I reach the stairs, Colt arrives.

             “You leaving?” he asks.

“Yes. It’s late. I had a wonderful time. I loved seeing you.”

             The energy is palpable. I feel inspired, yet nervous. I have to go before my emotions get the better of me. But, go where? Back to a place from where I desperately want to escape? I can’t stay here either.

             “Excuse me,” I say as I look at Colt and manage half a smile moving past him and up the stairs feeling rather ungracious in my haste.

             “See you soon?” he asks.

“I’d love that.”

“I’ll be leaving soon for Virginia. But, you’re welcome anytime.”

             “Really?” I ask as I stop and look back.

“Yes. Please feel free to come and make yourself at home. It’s been too long. Let’s not wait another thirty years.” He smiles. “You said you were working on a book? See if your muse feels comfortable here. At the desk. It’ll be nice to know someone’s enjoying the space.”

             “I’d love to …”

             “It’s a date then; whether I’m here or not.” he says and offers me a wide smile. “I’ll let Sepp know you’ll be by.”

             The night air is crisp and its wintry feel helps me regain my composure as I walk the three blocks back to my car. The city lights bright complemented by holiday bulbs offer cheer along the way. I'm alone with my thoughts. What an incredible night. I am so grateful.

Amid all the unexpected pleasures this evening held—reconnecting with Colt, seeing Sepp—Colt’s remembrances of me as a young woman captures my thoughts. I listened as he spoke with high regard of a young lady I’ve always remembered as a ball of confusion and distress. “I admired you,” he said. “When you wanted something, you went after it. You had dreams and you set out to make them happen.” In his eyes, I was whole. In his eyes I was more than the chaos I was feeling back then. I had value even if I felt I didn't. And, he didn’t hate me for walking away from what we shared. If I never see him again, I’ll never forget this gift.

My heart is full of gratitude and hope. And with all of this hope and inspiration, I drive home more aware than ever of the disparity in the life I’ve been living and the one I wish to create.

Thank you Universe.